‘Ai Weiwei! Ai Weiwei!’ ‘Oh no! Not again! Where’s the mop?’ ‘No! Ai Weiwei! Dissident artist!’ ‘Dissident, pissident, what’s the difference?’ ‘Want to go! Ai Weiwei! Want to go!’ ‘You already have! Ai Weiwei. With the fairies! Now let’s get these trousers off!’